September 20th, 2005
|michelleann68||05:27 pm - The ponventure continunes ....|
Follow the link to all the fun..
When last we saw the missing ponycontingent, they had fallen into a dark dark trough of despondency
that, amazingly enough, was not Season 3, but a natural phenomena. Perhaps....
On the boat, PonySurprise closed her eyes and began to hum a ponymantra as the boat bow began
“What now?” PonyMadWoman shouted. “Where are we going now?”
PonySurprise opened her eyes long enough to look into her handydandy ponyastrolabe, which she pulled out of her amazing ponygirlpack, which ponyboys tend to make fun of until they need something in the ponygirlpack and then it's a different story, isn't it? But, we digress. PonySurprise was getting a headache from the ponylabe and reminded PonyGreenEees, “You’re supposed to be the navigator, PonyGreenEyes. What do you have to say?”
“Oh s***!” PonyGreenEyes exclaimed as the boat went down, down, down and began to spin. She looked around. Wasn’t this boat equipped with a ponybarfbag?
“The boat’s going down!” PonyPackers cried out. “Somewhat like the Packers chances for the playoffs this year.”
Ponywill shrugged. The girls would be fine. There was no killing this posse. At least until the end of the story. They seemed indestructible. Perhaps their water bottle had that Ponce de Leon water that PonySloane had been guzzling in Season 3 and then never discussed again. A plot hole, which was surely not as interesting as other holes, PonyWill daydreamed happily and did not notice the spasmodic swishing of his tail.
“Don’t you care, PonyWill? The ponies are going down!” PonyWhiteThunder demanded to know. What was he doing with his tail?
“That’s not as exciting as it sounds, since you’re talking about a boat and not PonyJack.” PonyWill whispered. He thought he was clever. Then he looked at the avid faces of the PonyPosse and got nervous.
“Really?” PonyHoneyRose asked, lifting her nose out of her tree book. Perhaps one day she might actually post her own hellos in the KF thread again. Who knows?
“PonyJack going down?” PonyChocolateDelights tossed aside her Hershey bar. She didn’t like ti anyway. “Tell us more.”
“Can we watch?” PonyMistyRain asked.
“I think we deserve some reward for this search for PonyJack,” PonyOceanView asserted. PonyWill began to fret. PonyJack liked his privacy, after all.
PonySurprise hummed a little faster as the boat spun around and around.
PonyMadWoman continued her search for her GPS.
"What the hell are you doing, PonySurprise?" PonyGreenEyes demanded impatiently. She got like that sometimes.
"I am getting in touch with my ponyself –“
“Whoa! Too much information!” PonyMadWoman squeaked. “Like the bullhorn incident. And in public? Whoa! Get a bridle on, girlfriend!”
“What a gutter mind.” PonySurprise sniffed and then coughed as salt water went up her nose. She didn’t need a SinuCleansing moment right now.
“Technically, I think we might be in a whirlpool,” Pony GreenEyes felt compelled to point out.
“It’s making me dizzy,” PonyTigerLily noted with a hoof to her head.
“Well, it’s no more dizzyifying than the notion of Slirina.” PonySunshineBlue spat.
“Why did you spit?” PonyWill asked.
“I had a bad taste in my mouth,” PonySunshineBlue explained. Where was a Horton’s coffee when you needed it?
“A taste in my mouth... I remember those days...” PonyWill sobbed. “Will we ever find PonyJack?”
PonySweetiePie pulled a tissue out of her ponypack. Now that she was a ponymom, she was prepared for wet moments. “Here, PonyWill. Buck up. We’ll find PonyJack.”
“Slirina? That’s not dizzifying, that’s nauseating,” PonySonorityAngel nodded. “And in PonyGreenEyes absence, I feel compelled to point out that dizzifying is not a word.”
“Newsflash. Only you and PonyGreenEyes care about vocabulary,” PonyWill noted, after blowing his nose. “There are bigger issues–“
“Bigger?” PonyWhiteThunder stopped watching the whirlpool in the ponyball. “Did someone see PonyJack?”
“No. We’re talking about Season 4 plotholes,” PonyChocolateDelights told her. “Like how Bill Vaughn could be both dead and yet alive enough to steal Nadia and whisk her away to Argentina.”
As the PonyPosse discussed the disasters of punches and cologne comments and other oddities that made them angry, the missing members concentrated on staying alive.
“Can you get off your ponyass and–“ PonyGreenEyes thumped PonySurprise on her ponyrump.
“ I will ignore you and concentrate on my magical mantra and through the powers of enlightenment to be found only in internal peace, we will find our way,” PonySurprise said with a calm expression although internally she wanted to slap PonyGreenEyes. Although to be honest, all of this spinning in the whirlpool was making her internals somewhat unsteady, just like when she was a ponychild and had played a game. “Ring Around the Rosy!” she cried out. “All fall down!”
“Wake up!” PonyGreenEyes slapped PonySurprise on the snout. Very lightly of course. “This is no time to dream of your misbegotten childhood. We’ve been sent down into the earth.”
“Oh no! What will they do?” PonyDaisySweet asked.
“Ask for directions?” PonyMistyRain suggested.
The ponies dug underground, which took a while given that they don’t have opposable thumbs with which to use shovels. A beetle took pity on them. "While PonySloane has been called a dung beetle, which is an insult to dung beetles everywhere, he is merely a pony which lives above ground. No luck here."
The ponies tunneled there way out of the dirt only to find that they were not at their starting point, which was no surprise given that Alias had lost its way and TPTB thought the show was about an adolescent and whiny teenage girl who was bereft without her boyfriend instead of being about an adult woman and her relationships with her father, who by the way, is very hot and should be seen more often in a tank top, which ...But we digress. The ponies were once again lost. But no, not on a tropical island which seemed to hold more promise for its creator than a show into which the writers had written themselves into a corner. No, they were somewhere far different.
"Where are we?" PonySurprise asked. Then she began to slide. "HELP!"
"Grab her!" PonyGreenEyes urged as she looked around. Seeing PonyMadWoman grab PonySurprise and keep her from sliding down a glacier, PonyGreenEyes shrugged. "Okay, now that the drama is over--"
"Drama? Drama is over?" PonySurprise shivered. "I could have--"
"Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Whatever." PonyGreenEyes rolled her green eyes. "What you shoulda done was pay attention to the sign post–“
“But I wasn’t skiing–“
“Don’t be ponypedantic,” PonyMadwoman suggested. “It’s annoying.”
“Yes, it is.” PonyGreenEyes agreed with PonyMadwoman, as she often did. “Now, look. I found a sign post--"
"Sign post. Do you wanna know what you can do with that sign post?" PonySurprise began, stomping her hooves in indignation and also to keep herself warm.
"Uh-oh, there's dissension in the ranks."
"Don't worry. PonyGreenEyes will take care of it."
"That's enough. Sit down and shut up." PonyGreenEyes pointed her hoof.
PonySurprise sat down. PonyMadWoman was not surprised.
"You said, correct me if I'm wrong, that I was the navigator. Therefore my job is to find our way. And therefore, I was looking for a sign post. Which is here."
"But it's in Russian!" PonyMadWoman noted.
"Russian?" PonySurprise whined. "None of us speaks Russian!"
“I do!” PonyLuckyStar yelled. “I spent a summer in Vermont–“
“Maple syrup is a wonderful product, we make Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and we have wonderful fall scenery,” PonySweetiePie pronounced proudly.
“Unfortunately, neither a New England travelogue nor Russian abilities confined to England are going to help them," PonyDaisySweet pointed out.
"Look!" PonyGreenEyes pointed to the horizon where a line of short black creatures was waddling. "Perhaps they can help."
"Penguins! I have a penguin on my posterior!" PonyGreenEyes pointed out.
“You know, showing us your butt was really unnecessary,” PonySurprise sniffed. Her sinuses were still feeling the effects of the salt water cleansing. “Besides, let me do the talking!” PonySurprise demanded. “I speak penguin.”
What would the penguins tell our pony crew? Would it be helpful or confusing? Would we ever understand why Irina slept with Sloane? Or why Jack is still friends with Sloane? Or why Sark lurrrrrves Lauren? Or...let’s stick with the ponyponderables – will our pony crew ever make it to the rest of the PonyPosse? Will PonyWill still be ponyintactus when he meets up with PonyJack again?